Letter # 4

Dear Tyler;

Some of your friends graduated from high school a couple of weeks ago.  I couldn’t help feeling just like I did last year when you should have graduated.  I was jealous of the ones who graduated and their families then, and I am still feeling the same way now. 

Maybe, now that they all have graduated, I can stop wishing that you had been able to do that too.  I really wanted that for you.   When you were five, excitedly entering kindergarten, I never imagined that my little boy wasn’t going to graduate from high school.  As the years went by, I looked forward to that day for you most of all because it would have been such an epic event.  Out of everyone that I have known, YOU would have been the one who had to work extra hard to make it and it would have been one of your greatest accomplishments.

And, if you had done that, I believe that it would have meant that you were continuing to do everything that you could to maintain your sobriety and you would have been moving forward toward a positive future.

Now the future has begun for Bridger.  A few days ago, he graduated from preschool.  It was emotional to watch him because he is growing up so fast and it doesn’t seem like he should be five years old already.  I felt the same way when you started kindergarten.  As my last child, I especially wanted you to stay little for awhile longer, too.     

You should have seen his graduation.  They put on a program where they sang some Broadway songs like, Singing in the Rain, and New York, New York.   It was so cute.  Then, the teachers gave each student an award.  Bridger got the “Greatest Thinker Award.”  They said he loves to figure out how to do things by himself.  It is true.  He puts together electrical circuits from some kits that Jereme buys for him.  He is truly amazing at it.  He can even put Lego sets together by himself that are meant for eight years old and above.   

He would have loved to have you at his graduation.  Trevor was there because we were watching him for a few days.  Bridger was so excited to have him come that he told his teachers and everyone at school that his “friend” Trevor was coming to the program.   I can’t imagine how over the moon he would have been if you had been coming.   He probably would have talked about it for days and days because he loves you so much.   We would have taken a picture of you two, together to commemorate the day and his love for his Uncle Tyler.

It was a happy night for all of us, celebrating this milestone in Bridger’s life.    

I hope, one day, we can all celebrate your achievements again, too.

Love,

Mom