Letters to Tyler

I should have started this 6 months ago, or over a year ago, or even 4 ½ years ago--because our life changed in such an unexpected way that long ago.

I actually did write him a letter when we put him in rehab.  It seems like such a long time ago, now.

But, I wish I had been writing letters to him all along.

Today’s letter would say:

Tyler,

It has been almost six months since I have really seen you or talked to you. 

I miss you.

I miss the real you that hides inside and has rarely come out in the last few years.  I miss your sense of humor, your intelligence, and your amazing spirit.

Remember when we went to Bryce Canyon?  I will always remember that trip.  We had some good talks, came up with so many good dreams and plans, took some amazing pictures, and had a lot of fun together.

It is one of my most favorite memories.

I thought everything was going to get better with you, your life, and your future from that point on.

I sure wish it would have.

I still hope it happens.

I love you so much and I wish you could know that.

I know you don’t believe it on the surface.

But, maybe deep in your heart, if I put it out there in the universe through these letters, you will feel it.

I am your mom.  I have always loved you.

And, I always will.